Mid July in Nova Scotia. My grandmother’s century and a bit more home, painted white wooden siding freshly cleaned by rain from the day before. It might reach 85 at it’s hottest in summer there. Years later while I am old and cantankerous, living in Florida I’ll mock myself for thinking it was hot. For now, for us in that moment and time it was pretty warm. My grandmother’s kitchen was the focal point for her entire...

I am a fat woman. I have rolls, people. I have saggy, huge rolls and giant breasts that are registered in fifty one states as concealed weapons and they’ve got a law now where I can’t run anymore because the last time…Well. I just don’t want to talk about the last time. The images are still too fresh. I am a fat woman who now has daily access to a pool and her old bathing suit, a one piece with little in the way of...

I write a lot about my mother. Probably not a whole crazy-much-bunch that some might, but I write a lot more about her than I do my father and some (HI DAD!) might think it’s a bit unfair. Do I hate my father? Do I have some sort of horrible scarring trauma about him and the varying reincarnations of his mustache and beard that send me into shrieking nightmares every night? No, not exactly. You see, when I was a little girl, I was a...

It’s been a busy year here at the Pence household. Like most people, I’m busy celebrating with the better half and quite definitely “nicely relaxed.” this year, I am “nicely relaxed” (ie obliterated… so please excuse the typos) on a steady stream of Mooing Irish Pepsis (Bailey’s, coke and milk) and rum and cokes, but made with this awesome Black Cherry rum. It’s very rare that me and the...

Money sucks right now for a lot of us. Everywhere I look there’s someone lamenting over what they can get for people for Christmas, without relying on something from the dollar store. How can you give a gift that really says, “hey, I fucking love you!,” without breaking your bank and your relationship with the gift giver this year? Hand made gifts. Yes, I said it–I think home made Christmas gifts are the way to go...