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Month: September 2019

Things You Can Say to Cats

But generally not to fellow humans. At least. Usually you shouldn’t say them to strangers. I guess? Me: Watching the cats eat in the hallway, standing near Isis’ bowl, because the other cats tend to inhale their food then just push her out of the way and eat hers. Crinkles finishes and meanders over the dry food. Tinkles then finishes and meanders right over to Crinkle’s. Specifically, his butt. Face-plants herself in it. “Ahh, yes–” I say to Shawn. “Nothing says dessert quite like a face full of ass.” My husband: “I know when I finish supper, there’s nothing like…

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The Angel and the Bear

Angels are often not after the business of bears you see. They are busy creatures going to and fro, flitting here and there and trumpeting things or announcing this and that. Very important people, angels are, and they never stop. Always so happy and always so go-get, swooping and singing and going about their day with no time for those below them or around them. Unfortunately, angels often did not have time for one another, either. One angel was a complete mess. Just a complete and total mess really. She was a little rounder than the other angels, and prone…

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Beauty & The (Beast) Bulletjournal

When I was 12, I cried because I was too chubby to fit into a thrift store dress. It was for a Halloween school dance. I wanted to be a princess. When I tried it on at home during the last minute, my mother couldn’t find a way to make it fit. Eventually, the zipper went up, but it busted. I went. But I haven’t forgotten. I never really got into beauty as a teenager. “Someday, I will find someone who will love me for who I am, not what I look like.” Snickering laughter. “No. That’s not how it…

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Hurricane Dorian and Cat Food: a stinky tale.

Hurricane Dorian made my butt clench in anxiety, I am not going to lie. Florida was a little messed up during the week up to the hurricane which ended up being not much more than a tropical storm with a few droplets of rain–making life here inconvenient. The worst thing that happened to me during Hurricane Dorian was that we decided it would be a great idea to buy our 5 cats Hurricane treats, as you do when you are irreverent hurricane Floridian fucks. So we got some cans of Fancy Feast (not sponsored, thank you) to feed our beloved…

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