Skip to content

Tag: Cats

Kitten Farts: tiny, yet powerful.

If you can’t handle the fact that a) we fart, and b) animals fart then you’re gonna have a bad time. I don’t really understand why I was such a prude about something that is so necessary and normal a body function when I was a–okay, I do. It’s a societal-women-don’t-do-anything-not-perfect, but I ain’t got the 8 years needed to unpack all of it. Anyway, one of the most powerful forces on this earth is not in fact, nuclear but a tiny pfffttpppffft of wind from the backside of a tiny kitten who is learning to adjust to a new…

Comments closed

I Carry your Heart With Me

9 and 1/2 years ago we lost an almost 20lb meatball of claws and purrs named Raven. She came to Shawn well before he ever met me, via a lady who I believe asked him, “Hey, want a cat? We don’t want it anymore,” and became the illusive meatball ninja of almost-feral timidness that also demanded pets and scratching but only on her terms. When Raven passed, we were finally living on our own in a one bed room apartment instead of with my husband’s parents which, at our ripe old age of mid 30’s was a fuckin’ step up…

Comments closed

Things You Can Say to Cats

But generally not to fellow humans. At least. Usually you shouldn’t say them to strangers. I guess? Me: Watching the cats eat in the hallway, standing near Isis’ bowl, because the other cats tend to inhale their food then just push her out of the way and eat hers. Crinkles finishes and meanders over the dry food. Tinkles then finishes and meanders right over to Crinkle’s. Specifically, his butt. Face-plants herself in it. “Ahh, yes–” I say to Shawn. “Nothing says dessert quite like a face full of ass.” My husband: “I know when I finish supper, there’s nothing like…

Comments closed

Hurricane Dorian and Cat Food: a stinky tale.

Hurricane Dorian made my butt clench in anxiety, I am not going to lie. Florida was a little messed up during the week up to the hurricane which ended up being not much more than a tropical storm with a few droplets of rain–making life here inconvenient. The worst thing that happened to me during Hurricane Dorian was that we decided it would be a great idea to buy our 5 cats Hurricane treats, as you do when you are irreverent hurricane Floridian fucks. So we got some cans of Fancy Feast (not sponsored, thank you) to feed our beloved…

Comments closed