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Tag: Married Life

Love Is Not

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on October 14, 2019

I rolled out of bed sometime around 6:30 am. Like most of my generation and anyone who has ever gone to school Monday to Friday, I dread Mondays. I don’t professionally have a reason why. After all, I am the worst at psychology–I lived with my depression, Bi Polar II and probably anxiety untreated for decades because I just thought that’s how everybody do. So I go through my morning (I originally spelled it, “mourning,” and maybe that’s also true) routine, got my coffee, sat down, tooled about on the internet and then clocked in and went to work writing…

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Things You Can Say to Cats

Things You Can Say to Cats

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on September 23, 2019

But generally not to fellow humans. At least. Usually you shouldn’t say them to strangers. I guess? Me: Watching the cats eat in the hallway, standing near Isis’ bowl, because the other cats tend to inhale their food then just push her out of the way and eat hers. Crinkles finishes and meanders over the dry food. Tinkles then finishes and meanders right over to Crinkle’s. Specifically, his butt. Face-plants herself in it. “Ahh, yes–” I say to Shawn. “Nothing says dessert quite like a face full of ass.” My husband: “I know when I finish supper, there’s nothing like…

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The Angel and the Bear

The Angel and the Bear

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on September 19, 2019

Angels are often not after the business of bears you see. They are busy creatures going to and fro, flitting here and there and trumpeting things or announcing this and that. Very important people, angels are, and they never stop. Always so happy and always so go-get, swooping and singing and going about their day with no time for those below them or around them. Unfortunately, angels often did not have time for one another, either. One angel was a complete mess. Just a complete and total mess really. She was a little rounder than the other angels, and prone…

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Our Love is a Hormonal Teenager – 14 years of Geekery

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on June 10, 2017

[et_pb_section admin_label=”section”] [et_pb_row admin_label=”row”] [et_pb_column type=”4_4″] [et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”] Today is the infamous day, in the year of oh lawd, 2017, when my husband, Shawn and I celebrate 8 years of official marriage. Actual we gotta piece of paper ‘n everything! marriage, as opposed to use getting together back in 2003 and from then on our simply referring to one another as husband and wife married. Our love is fourteen years old today and if it were a teenager in today’s world…Jesus, I would feel pretty torn up being a teen this year, also with the added befuddlement of hormones, brain development, and…

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It’s like we’re coffee married!

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on June 2, 2017

[while I am coming out of the bathroom.] “You know…I wouldn’t be adverse to you making more coffee. Just puttin’ that out there. Y’know. Just in case.” [ Stop in mid step. Widen eyes. GASP. Flail my arms, ] ” OH MY GOD I just got the greatest idea ever…What IF…” [Pretends to lean on the wall and looks enthralled.] “WHAT if…WHAT IF….What if I made some more coffee?” “HOLY SHIT it’s like you can read my mind!” “I NO RITE???” makes more coffee. Life returns to usual morning routine.

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To my Husband in the New Year.

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on December 30, 2013

You are my little planet, my earth. Hard packed from the way my feet pace back and forth in your heart–worrying about the things you’d never think of. Because really, they aren’t things that were meant to be worried about. Do you think I will die first? What will happen if you do? You know, I cannot live without you. I would have to go right after. You watch as I say these things and wring my hands as old women in markets haggling over the price of life. Your earth is soft and cool;  never too hot or baked from Floridian…

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First date snob.

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on October 10, 2012

Me: [Reads a screenshot of a twitter play-by-play of possibly the worst date in Starbucks history. Starts giggle snorting.] Shawn: “What?” Me: [Reads it.] Both of us: “Oh my god. That was awful.” Me: “He took her to Starbucks. Who does that?” Shawn: [Look over his glasses at me.] “Go get a coffee? On the first date. You know?” Me: [Stare.] Shawn: “It’s the first date. ‘Let’s get to know each other and see if the dating thing is plausible’ thing?” Me: “Who the fuck does that? Nobody does that. Take me out for gourmet dinner and diamonds.” Shawn: [Snort.] “People…

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I can’t imagine

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on June 10, 2012

I can’t imagine loving me. I am a difficult woman to understand. For the longest time in my life I was nothing more than a ball of smothering love and sulfurous self-hate, mingling together until neither side could determine who would win and one moment I was loving the world and the next minute I was sobbing over broken incense burners. How do you love someone like that? How do you dedicate—willingly—your life and spending it with someone who’s apparently emotional maturity is that of a confused and angry seven year old? I don’t know. For the longest time, I…

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Finding some way to smile about it.

Published by Hot Pink Unicorn Mess on October 3, 2011

I love the holidays. Specifically, I love that as I am on my own I can celebrate the holidays–within budget–how I see fit. I can’t understand how celebrating in your own way, where it harms none, becomes a point of grumbling to some. Yesterday I begged Shawn to take me to the Dollar store to see if we could afford a few more decorations for Halloween/Samhain/All Hallow’s Eve. We spent less than $10 and I was able to walk out with 2 head stones, orange pumpkin garland, spider webbing, creepy cloth, a jack o’ lantern lamp and two black ravens.…

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