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Things I learned from my Mother

Last updated on October 23, 2018

Click to donate toward Step Out: Walk to Stop Diabetes
Click to donate toward Step Out: Walk to Stop Diabetes

Things I learned from my mother:

  •  How to pick out the most expensive thing; be it coffee, food, perfume or makeup without even trying.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again or until you’ve blown $800.
  • If you are going to belch in a diner full of Truckers, go for the gold.
  • Baby shit is not a viable paint.
  •  You don’t have to wear make-up if you don’t want to.
  • Music, especially your favorite music cranked up as loud as it will go, makes everything better.
  • Laugh like no one is watching so they can’t make fun of the snorting you do in between the crying and peeing yourself a little bit while you chortle like a hyena.
  • If you have porkchops, onions, green peppers, mushrooms and butter you can make one of the tastiest fucking pan fried meals, cheap.
  • Beer is okay. Five are better.
  • Friends are meant to fill their bellies in your kitchen after spending the day with you laughing and talking.
  • It’s ALWAYS time for Tim Hortons, bitches
  • Laugh
  • Taking yourself too seriously is never fun
  • It’s okay to indulge yourself if you really need too, especially in times of stress and not feel guilty about it.
  • Keep the small things that are important to you, even if they don’t make sense to anyone else. Material things disappear, memories remain.
  • Ladies do, indeed, fart.
  • Drive an extra mile around the corner: you never know what you will find.
  • If you ask a child under the age of 15, “What are you doing?” And they take a few seconds to reply, “…Nothin’.” DO NOT BELIEVE THAT CHILD. RUN. FIND THEM NOW.
  • Second hand doesn’t mean garbage. There’s no shame in wearing or owning something someone else owned.
  • If you’re a whiny little shithead, the world probably won’t give you what you want and in fact, may just ignore you in a grocery aisle while you scream for chips.
  • Love. Love passionately, love fully, love even when it hurts.

Help pay for Mel's tattoo in memory of her mother
[box type=”bio”] Melissa Pence is wife to the husband and wife team here behind 2 phatgeeks. On December 11th, 2011, Melissa lost her mother to a long, difficult battle to diabetes. In her memory, Melissa is blogging 24 hours in order to raise funds for her through the organization: Step Out: End to Walk Diabetes, and for the personal goal to finish a humming bird tattoo on her right arm in memory of her mother. [/box]
Published inPersonalPhat Life