Skip to content

2Phatgeeks.com Posts

Why a Bullet Journal was perfect for this Hot Mess Brain

You’d think after reading these entries over the years that there was absolutely no hope for me to get my shit together. I’ve never been an organized person. Not once. Not ever, never. Getting diagnosed with BP II and depression officially helped to sort of understand why I was a constant mess of GET EVERYTHING DONE and NAH, IMMASTAY IN BED FOR THIS WEEK…But to get all of my shit in one shit-stack and take it to a shit store and get it shit-organized? Was it even possible? Surprise! It is almost impossible. And that is O.K. To do perfectly…

Comments closed

What’s in a tooth?

When I was 16, I was terrible. Not only was I going through what any teen at that age goes through–hormones, boys, body image issues, self-esteem problems, trying to fit in desperately where I didn’t–I probably had the beginnings of my depression and bipolar II crop up. I didn’t know the word depression. I didn’t and had never heard of bipolar. Anxiety wasn’t a word in my dictionary of angst filled teenage words. I was fat, I had random giant zits on my face at all times, and I was and still am average looking at best. I didn’t know…

Comments closed

That bullshit about it never being too late to follow dreams? Yeah. It’s kinda true.

So floating around on the internet in various wording, is a quote that I thought was neat and nifty but didn’t really hit me in the face until early this month (July, 2019 for those of you unsure of when I wrote this. As sometimes I am unsure of when I wrote…anything.) At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter. At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home dad working odd jobs. Julia Child released her first book at age 49. Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 38. Alan Rickman gave up his graphic…

Comments closed

How to clean when all you want to do is Pterodactyl screech at life.

Living with chronic illness; be it physical or mental takes a ridiculously gross toll on everything in your life. There’s no “quick fix,” to being empty of even the energy to wash your own face in the morning, let alone clean your home like “normal” people do. (Please imagine my hugely sarcastic, eye rolling finger quotes being made in the air as I say normal) Cleaning during depression can be like climbing a mountain naked armed with a pencil and a pack of stickers. Medication is great, but it’s never an end all, be all, cure all. There will be days where your shit will simply not get together, personal hygiene becomes an afterthought, dishes pile in the sink, never or barely rinsed, and you’re pretty sure the clothes on the floor in your room have become sentient. It’s overwhelming to look around you and see your home reflect the state of your mental, emotional and physical shambles—and knowing you should care, and you should do something; but you just can’t drum up enough feeling to do anything than feel miserable and not caring. And then that sends you on a lovely guilt spiral that makes you want to do anything even less. And the cleaning never happens.

So how do you even start cleaning during depression?

Comments closed

Retail at 40: Fantasizing About Strangling Balloons, a Rant.

I haven’t worked in 15 years. I am grateful to have been so lucky as to get a retail job within the first week of girding my fat, anxious, bi-polar diagnosed loins and handing out resumes the old fashioned way. (Store to store in person.) But, wow. Wow. In the past months of working retail at the Buck Stump* I have learned me a Thing or Two. (*name changed to protect…Well….I dunno who. Me. You. Sanity. The world.) I have amassed a shockingly large amount of pet peeves that will possibly drive me further toward gibbering in a mu-mu whilst screaming at…

Comments closed

Nature Girl

The greatest thing you’ll ever learnIs just to love and be loved in return. 2018. I don’t know what to say about you. I have seen a lot of damages you have done, from political to personal. I have changed. I have not changed. I want to change. This was the year in which I tried to peter pan my way into adult hood. I got a job. I learned more about humanity than I wanted or needed. I learned. I realized that one of the social media platforms that I enjoyed the most, Google plus, was going away. I…

Comments closed

New year, who dis?

[pullquote]Protip kid: nobody fucking knows what they’re doing either so they either wing it or hire someone to wing it for them[/pullquote] It is almost a new year and as tradition in this household dictates, it is a time of trying to pick up shit you haven’t done in seventy five thousand years in an attempt to better yourself. Maybe. A little better. Pick up some things. I guess? Anyway, what I mean is, Hello WordPress. As you may have guessed, there was a hiccup a few months ago. We installed a new theme (that wasn’t Divi) and that theme pretty…

Comments closed