2010

Arguments in the key of 2GP

“I don’t understand how you do this. ” “Do what?” “This! This kitchen thing you do.  There were EIGHT THOUSAND bowls in the sink and seventeen knives. What do you need EIGHT THOUSAND bowls for!” “Really? Really. Eight thousand? Whatever, Mister Flour ALL OVER the sink and the counter and… Read More »Arguments in the key of 2GP

For this, you will have to poop diamonds & gold nuggets.

Seriously, all I want is a one-piece with a little chesticle support so that people don’t mistake my mammary jiggle as an auctioneer’s call and a bit of a skirt to hide my curdled butt FOR a reasonable amount of money. Reasonable. Apparently this is too difficult to supply, however.

My hero wears tighty whities and TALKS VERY LOUDLY.

I have yet to write about my father, and I’ve been remiss in doing that. I love my dad, even when he embarrassed me as a kid at the mall with ohmuhgawd, friends to see it–and even when he wandered the house in his tighty-whities with his hair stuck up all over the place and groggily asking if anyone made coffee. I love him even when we video conference now and he leans over to TALK TO ME VERY LOUDLY. I STILL LOVE MY DAD.