I have two words for you…
May 4, 2008 Geekery
F-cking. Awesome. That’s my concise and completely accurate review of Iron Man.
We went to see the movie earlier this morning. I had been building myself up for this movie all week and had been anxiously awaiting it for the past couple months. I was in perfect position to have my hopes dashed, much like they were for the first Hulk film. It’s pretty hard for a film to live up to what a anxious movie go-er might imagine before they actually get to see the movie and usually I force myself to have lower expectations. For some reason I decided to let myself get excited about this film.
And I was not one bit disappointed. Not a single bit.
The movie had the normal phenomenal special effects. This day and age this is something that I expect from a film in this genre. That’s why I go to superhero films. I don’t go to see comic books I loved since I never read them. I go to see unreal things made real. I am honestly far more impressed with amazingly good animation effects in films like The Incredibles than am by appropriately shiny metal and wicked explosions in an action film. Iron Man was filled with plenty of good action shots of the man in the iconic metal suit doing lots of hero-ey stuff. The action wasn’t overbearing and it didn’t overwhelm the story.
The story was surprisingly good and very much so character driven. The genesis of the character has been changed to better reflect the times and still managed to keep the “war profiteer turned do-gooder” vibe that is in the genesis of the original comic. The names had that familiar comic book feel to them; short and descriptive. The hero is Stark, and so is his view of the world as a whole at the beginning. The peppy sidekick? Why Pepper, of course. Pepper Potts to be exact. Why, the name almost personifies a cute freckle-faced assistant. Just saying it makes you peppy. As a whole everything fit together as it should in these films. The production values were high and the writing punchy and surprisingly smart (especially between Pepper and Stark). The only negative I had was the butchering of the song Iron Man during the end credits. C’mon! Don’t screw with things that don’t need to be screwed with.
But this film had something special and his name is Robert Downey Jr.
Most of the superhero films these days have heroes that look like they belong in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They’re all perfect little people between the ages of 17 and 21, it seems. The recent Superman movie, though a film I enjoyed, suffered from this. Lois and Clark look like they just got their BA from some ivy-league mass-production preppy machine, not like they’re old enough to be established journalists; one of whom has won a Pulitzer. At the beginning, Downey brings his trademark sharp witted playboy to the fore, no doubt from years of practice in real life. It works marvelously. I ceased to see Downey pretending to be Stark and began to see the two as the same person.
But where Downey really shines as Stark is when the mood turns serious. Eighteen year old models don’t have weight (either physically or emotionally). When the story turns dark and you can begin to see the change come over the character, Downey’s age and lack of physical perfection lends him a sense of gravitas that the kids just haven’t been able to pull off yet. I believed he felt regret over what he’d created and how it had changed the world. This alone makes the film worth seeing. Add to this that his character wasn’t changed by some sort of magic bullet or cosmic radiation… that he *chose* to be better and to make the world a better place… and you have yourself something different and so much better than the normal super hero fare.
So my initial review stands. F-cking Awesome. Go. Now. Why aren’t you going?
Mel’s Top Ten Ways to Seem like a Douche bag in any Game.
Apr 10, 2008 Geekery
Image via WikipediaHere are ten excellent ways to seem like a douche bag in any game, whether you’re playing an MMORPG or anything else that requires you to mingle with your fellow humans.
1.) You help further any of the many gamer stereo types.
I just want to take this moment to personally thank all the guys playing females, or females playing females who are standing about some town right now, stripping off all their gear and begging for gold plz. Thanks guys, you make me feel warm and tingly inside.
2.) You sign up for the two week trial just to dis the game and advertise for another one.
Listen, douche bag, you’ve just been granted two weeks of free play. If you don’t like the game don’t play it. Flopping about the beginner town and lamenting over how this game sucks compared to yours doesn’t convince people to “come to the light.” It won’t inspire a mass exodus from this game to yours; in fact, most people will take a five second note of your behavior and think, “Wow. They behave like this, here; I can’t imagine what it’s like there.”
You aren’t part of the awesome team. You aren’t raging against the pixels. You’re just a whiner with a two week free key.
3.) You utter the most god forsaken words ever known to man: WoW is better.
I don’t want to hear about how it brought an MMORPG to the masses, about how easy it is to play, or how blah blah blah best game evar blah blah fan boi blah fan gurrrrl.
The truth is, compare WoW on a simple graphical scale to any game released this year and dare to tell me that WoW is better. WoW isn’t better, it’s old. If I had money growing in my backyard, I’d bet you hard cash nearly half of the people playing WoW right now are doing so because they are bored out of their god damned minds and cannot wait for someone to release something into the market that doesn’t suck.
WoW’s like your first girlfriend or boyfriend. They were hot, they were smokin’–then as the years went by you slowly started to wonder why the hell you began dating them to begin with. You just can’t quit them yet, however, because they were your first—and they have all your C.D’s.
4.) Your main goal in your entire illustrious gaming career is to harass newbies.
It was cool to pick on the new kid when we were in elementary school and mom still packed our lunches for us. Come on, people.
Besides that, there’s always the slight chance of getting your ass handed back to you in the future by that same newb you just tea-bagged.
5.) You spend most of your time online bragging about your uber leet purple gear.
By all means, compare your gear. Ask questions about what class should be wearing what, and what’s the best gear to have. The quest for uber gear is pretty much a major part of MO’s or MMORPG’s these days, anyway.
If this is all you do, all the time, in the same bat-channel, same bat-time—I hope you choke on your cheetos.
I don’t care. Chances are, the guy next to you doesn’t really care what chest-plate you’re wearing or what stats your bracelet has or how many purplz trinkets your toon is wearing after hearing it for the tenth millionth time.
6.) You take that game way, way, too seriously.
If someone making a wise crack at the color of your paladin’s armor, or a side comment about the style of your avatar (or toon’s) hair and you wig the hell out at them, filling the general chat or ventrilo server with vitriol that could strip wall paper?
Maybe it’s time to take a nice, long, quiet break from gaming for a bit, hmm? Did you know about the Realm of Outside, buddy? I hear it’s got a lot of quests, like Find A Job, Pay The Bills, Interact with Fellow Humans and even Date Somebody.
The last one is an Epic Quest, though. You’ll need to grind the Find A Job quest first.
7.) You use Bots.
This is the ultimate douche baggery. If you can’t invest the time to play the game, why have it in the first place? What’s the point? You aren’t even playing it, you’re running programs to play it for you.
If you’re one of those bots, standing in the main town and spamming the chat for cheap gold/credits and rare loot, there’s a special place reserved for you in gaming hell. I hear its E.T. for the Atari 2600 alllll the time down there.
8.) When you use voice chat programs, “Push to Talk,” and “Turn the mic off when you’re away from keyboard,” are foreign concepts to you. Also, you think it’s really cool to share your favorite song.
There’s nothing more relaxing then the sound of some toon’s mount clopping away at ten thousand decibels in my ears. The sweet harmonious siren’s call of swords clashing or guns firing at a noise level which makes my ear drums bleed. It is just lovely.
The best. ever. sounds however, are the tinny little strains of your favorite current song played from your computer desk mic. You know, the music that sounds like it’s being delivered out of the puckering end of a very angry weasel. You have to share it with everyone!
No. No you don’t have to share it with everyone. No one wants to hear your death metal, your gansta rap, your country, your dance nor any other genre of your music. We’re in the channel to shoot the shit or save ourselves some time in having to type while we play. Stuff it, DJ McNerdles and let’s get back to the quiet murmurs of geekery.
9.) You turn Guild chat/General chat/Vicinity Chat/Any Chat into your very own episode of Jerry Springer.
“OMG, Becky. You stay away from mah man! Stop sending him whispers!”
Suddenly, guild chat is a flurry of drama llamas bleating, accusations of cyber, ganking and douche baggery abounds.
Public chat is not for your airing of dirty laundry. All you’re doing is making yourself look like an ass and giving me five minutes of entertainment from killing these ten vorpal bunnies I need in order to get that necklace I wanted. Funny, in a very sad-car-crash-sort of way.
10.) Keep real life the hell out of my game.
I’m playing a game. I’m playing this game to get away from everyday life and have an hour or few to myself and relax. I’m playing this game because I’m getting away from real life—so why the hell are you filling my chat screen, or yammering my ear off in vent about your kids and bills?
I don’t care and I don’t want to see it. I don’t care what your daughter did this weekend, what trophy your son won, how lonely you are, whether or not your girlfriend is cheating on you…I just want to play and have fun, don’t you?
Now it’s your turn. I challenge you to share with me your tales of the Ultimate Douche Baggery! What would you have added to the list?
How do I love thee? Let me count the geek.
Mar 6, 2008 Geekery
It’s when you’re in the car with the bumper stickers of your teh suck!11one!1 and your skill in reading has increased by 1 point that he becomes animated in his discussion of John Williams and no matter what people say about him, he did a brilliant job with the score of Star Wars.
It’s when he leans over to hit the CD button and play, telling you how awesome this part is right here, and that you should listen because it really is brilliant. You know, the part when Yoda lifts the X-Wing out of the swamp.
And he says, “Listen, listen. Ba-da-baaa,” already humming the music before it starts, knowing it by heart.
It’s then you’re struck by how fantastically geeky he is, roll your eyes and tell him you’re not going to listen!
And then you listen.
Tags: geek, love, Married Life, shawn
