I am a fat woman. I have rolls, people. I have saggy, huge rolls and giant breasts that are registered in fifty one states as concealed weapons and they’ve got a law now where I can’t run anymore because the last time…Well. I just don’t want to talk about the last time. The images are still too fresh. I am a fat woman who now has daily access to a pool and her old bathing suit, a one piece with little in the way of...

On April 15th, 2009 and I stepped on a bus to travel from Florida, U.S.A, to Alberta, Canada. It would take me until April 18th to reach my destination. While on the bus, I did my best to keep sporadic notes about my experiences and trip.  Come with me on this long journey of smelly people crammed into tiny seats, share my pain. April 15th, 6:30 pm. 3 hours on bus. Sitting in thin, cramped uncomfortable greyhound bus seats, the Melbourne...

Every day on my trip to work I pass by a carwash right next to the gas station I usually hit . Out in front, it has one of those “insert the letters” marquee type of signs, allowing the message to be changed. Usually it has some sort of pithy little saying related to whatever holiday is closest. For the past week this sign has said the following: Congratulations to Tom Falcone Employee of the Month! Not unusual in itself, and...

If you own a pickup truck and live in Florida, I’ve got bad news for you. Florida drivers are apparently known around the country for coming in two flavors: blue-haired grannies driving 45 miles on the interstate with the left turn signal on for 20 miles and senseless idiots riding on bumpers at 90 MPH… in the rain… at night. As a long time survivor of the Florida motorways allow me to confirm this in the most certain terms. Pretty...

So, a couple weeks ago I was speaking to an otherwise intelligent but very, very Christian co-worker about the fact she is letting her teen daughter go to the launch night for some new vampire book. I expressed a bit of surprise that she was letting her daughter go to such secular festivities. Her reply: “I don’t believe it, of course, I’m a Christian, but I believe that my kids are smart enough to tell the difference between reality...