On that fateful day, he will be proud.
Mar 16, 2008 Misc
There is a combination of consumables in which Shawn should never, ever eat together lest he kill me, the cat, the dog and several of the neighbors children from the death gas which leaks out of his butt.
Those three in no particular death order are: Coffee, ice cream and milk. It doesn’t matter how many hours pass in between consuming them, so long as Shawn has had them in a single day, then all of us within the house are doomed to eye watering, strangled gasps for breath for the rest of the evening.
I’d noticed he’d had a bowl of ice cream tonight, right after coffee in the afternoon. I hadn’t noticed, until too late that he was drinking down a cup of milk.
Akin to the evil monkey from Family Guy, my finger came out to point at him with undisguised panic. “Oh no,” I proclaimed. “You are drinking milk.”
“Yes,” he replied mildly, as if I were very simple and needed praise for figuring out he was holding and drinking a glass of milk.
“That is milk. You can’t drink that, you’ve had coffee and ice cream and now milk! You can’t digest milk all that well. The end result is deadly! You’re trying to kill me!”
“I can too digest it, I drink milk and my body produces nerve gas.”
Making a fist and shaking it in his general direction I could only exclaim, “Someday, I will have my revenge. I will let one go that will water your eyes, have you shoot up and out of bed in the middle of the night coughing and gagging, clawing at your neck whilst you desperately lunge for cleaner air in any other room but the one I am in!”
With a wide grin, Shawn replied with, “And on that day, I will weep tears of joy and be proud.”
Tags: farts, geeks, Married Life, mel, shawn
No comments yet.