Stick that in your Valentines Day and Smoke It.
Every year I hear the same thing.
Valentines day sucks! Fuck Valentines day! BOOO Valentines day! Ur Mom, Valentines day! It’s just another corporate holiday to suck your wallet and soul dry. DOWN WITH VALENTINES DAY!
And you know what? You’re right.
Valentines day is the son of Satan sodomizing kittens and puppies as he laughs manically, making off with your wallet while you’re standing in a puddle of heart broken tears, eating ice cream and listening to Tori Amos. Do you know why all of you soulless jerks are right? Because you make your own Valentines day suck.
You read me, I said it. You’re the one making your Valentines day suck.
If you’re complaining about it being a corporate holiday made up just for cash, loudly I might add–and taking every moment to remind us how much you show your special someone you love them, everyday, without having to spend money–then shut your cake gobbler. Let the rest of us drooling idiots enjoy our chalky candy, overpriced roses and stupid sappy love songs. If you’re already making every day for your sweetheart happy-love-day then you shouldn’t care about what the rest of us are doing, right? You’re obviously soooooo much better than the rest of us poor schmucks running to the store to buy kiss-me-shirts and heart shaped boxes.
For those of you dealing with heart break this Valentines or are all alone with your bottle of red wine, candle light, and redtube porno videos as well as trying to make everyone else as miserable, here’s a hint: make Valentine’s whatever you want it to be instead of Valentines. You, like He-man, have the pooooooowwwwwwaaaaah.
What do I mean by power? Let me s’plain. As a kid, when something bothered me and I told my Dad that it “hurts when I do this,” my father would look at me with eyebrows raised as if I were a wee bit whimsical in the brain pan and tell me, “well…don’t do that then.” Short of having a broken leg, bleeding out until you die and the other assortment of medical issues, when it comes down to emotional hurts? That is exceptionally damn good advice.
Sitting at your computer desk surrounded by framed pictures of your ex Roxanne and listening to Roxanne over and over on your MP3 player is probably not going to set you into a fit of giggling, it’ll probably hurt. In essence, you are purposefully hurting yourself…you should stop doing that. Find something to occupy your mind! Go out and shovel snow, clean, rearrange your house or anime collection, rent a movie, buy a movie, call a single best friend and make it pizza night, pick up your favorite game and shot the crap out of something, sign in and pwn a n00b somewhere and stop doing what hurts you.
You don’t need someone in your life to make your life worthwhile or hold meaning. Sure it’s a bonus and it’s nice to have but it isn’t the end all and be all.
This is all coming from a woman who used to hate Valentine’s day herself. I hated it because I let myself wallow about in self pity and misery and I just got tired of it and just remembered my father’s advice about doing things which hurt me. I stopped doing it.
So that’s my advice to you lonely souls out there getting ready for a long, bitter wail into your bottles of Arbor Mist; no one ruins a holiday better than you and you allowing it to get under your skin.
If it hurts when you do that, stop doing that then.
And HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, BITCHES.