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Dear Internet; I will not be your sweet old lady.

Jun 4, 2008 Computers and Internet

Dearest Internet,

I have been your biggest fan since I comically discovered you ten years ago via dial up and a horrid little three letter program that first lovingly melded me with you.

I admit, when I started I was truly clueless. I believed that the only way to connect to the World Wide Web was through this three-letter-program and that the internet stopped after a few sites and chat rooms.

You were a little unkind to me at first, since I was terribly naive. No one told me then about the dangers of giving out uber personal information, crazy mo’fo’s behind the screen and drunk men with Transylvania accents calling me at four in the morning to discuss their ex-wives.

But I learned internet, I learned.

It’s been a pretty good ride, internet. You’ve given me friends that I have had for so long that I don’t find it terribly odd that for some of them? I have no idea what they look like, but wouldn’t dream of calling them anything other than friends. I have learned more than I thought ever possible. I have witnessed history through you, I have touched human lives, I have been moved, I have created, loved, laughed and dreamed through you.

And it’s also been a pretty tough ride, internet. You’ve shown me the true meaning of fair weather friends, of back-stabbing and instability. You’ve given me stalkers. You’ve shown me the limits of what can be stuck into human orifices. You’ve shocked me with sexual positions involving objects I’m pretty sure aren’t legal in any state, let alone a country. You’ve reminded me that no matter how nice I am, there will always be some schmuck that will hate my face for no reason other than they can.

Through all that you showed me, Internet, I continued to do my personal best to remain as cordial and polite as possible to you despite the fact that as I grew older, I found you less and less willing to return it in kind.

Now, here we are. It has been a decade  and this year I will turn 30.  For some, they dread this number and for others—like myself, they both rail against and learn to let the two numbers settle with wisdom about their shoulders quietly; like worn out favorite shawls.

And that wisdom is: I am worth more than silence.

It’s time that I find my own voice. Ten more years from now I don’t want to be known as that ‘nice old lady with that nice blog that writes nice stuff.’

I think it is time for me to learn how to say what I want to say, how I want to say it.

I’m at the age now, when fine lines start appearing as well as (perhaps soon) a first gray hair or two. I think it will be alright for me to be a little more outspoken now.  Especially when it comes to me, the subjects I love and adore as well as the people which are very close to me.

So, dear internet, I hope you won’t mind, but I’m growing up.

I promise, however, I will try my best not to add to the tl;dr’s, the STFU’s, the NO U’s, the UR MOMZ, the LOLS—too much.